As a direct seller there are two ways you can make money: sell things or grow a direct sales team. But if you overcomplicate growing a team, if you get into your own head, then you may not fulfill your true potential. I am here to tell you, it doesn’t have to be that hard.
Think about it this way. You are a direct seller representing a brand you love. Therefore, you don’t have a problem representing that brand and selling all the goodies because you see the value in them, right?
You know that these products you’re selling have the opportunity to change the way people do things, make their days more fun, simplify things to make their lives easier, help them make themselves a priority.
So, let me ask you a question. How is asking someone to join your team any different than that? In a way, you’re presenting them with the opportunity to change their life, which is much bigger than the transformation a single product is going to provide them, right?
Why is it that you feel so comfortable selling products, but not “selling” the lifestyle your business has allowed you to live?
After coaching tons of direct sellers, I have discovered that there are four things you can do to make recruiting easier for yourself. Let’s dig into what those things are.

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Change Your Mindset
The biggest problem I see is the mindset. Mindset matters. Ask yourself, “Who is recruiting really about?” I’ll let you in on the answer. It isn’t about you. Like I said before, it is about the people you’re asking to join you on this crazy journey of entrepreneurship. It is about how your company can change their lives just like it did yours. If you frame your mindset to think about how the opportunity could help someone, it makes it easier to ask them to join your team.
It’s normal to have doubts and think, well, what if I don’t say the right thing? What if they ask me a question I don’t know the answer to? How the heck am I going to train people? I’ve never been a leader before! What if they don’t do anything?
Stop letting those questions rule your brain!
Instead, focus on one simple question: How could this business opportunity transform THEIR life?
When you get nervous or scared about asking someone, ask yourself why? It isn’t a marriage proposal, friends. It’s not that serious. In reality, most kits cost less than a dinner at a decent restaurant with the whole family. That small investment can allow a Mama to stay at home with her kids, enable someone to get out of debt, allow someone to pursue their dream of traveling with their family.
So every time you start letting your mind race and think about yourself – I want you to relax, pump the breaks, and think about them and what the opportunity could lead to for them. This quick mindset shift will make your Ask a lot easier.
Stop Overthinking
There is a simple answer to who you should be asking to join your team. The answer is everyone. Stop overthinking things and just offer it to everyone.
You can’t read people’s minds. If you tell yourself, oh, she wouldn’t need this, she’s got XYZ going on already, or her husband makes plenty of money, I’m sure this wouldn’t be for her, then you’re not even allowing her to make her own decision.
The truth is, everyone has their own why. You may have heard me tell this story before, but my upline never actually asked me to join the team. She figured I was busy homeschooling four kiddos, and I had a nice house. But what she didn’t know was that while I was busy with four kiddos, I couldn’t wait to take off that Homeschooling Mama hat and spend a night with some friends. I would have joined so much sooner if she had just asked.
Think about your business in terms of a pie chart.
The pie chart is made up of everyone who loves your products. But not everyone on that pie chart will love your product in the same way. Some are hosts that love having parties, some are guests that love purchasing products, and the smallest percentage will be those who have purchased and been a host enough times that they’re ready to join your team.
You need all these different pieces of the pie to build a thriving business. Not everyone is going to want to join, and that’s okay. But you won’t know who will be in that small percentage who wants to join your team unless you ask! So ask everyone!
Now, if you’re still worried about saying the wrong thing, let me assure you that you can’t say the wrong thing to the right person. Just continue to ask and for every conversation, you’ll improve your ask and learn something new.
Case in Point
When my son started 7th grade, he had to write his first-ever one-page paper. Although he was overwhelmed, mind blown, he did it. Down the road, I know that the same experience will seem easy for him. After doing it for years, fine-tuning his skills, practicing and perfecting his strategies, he’s going to be able to write a ten-page paper effortlessly.
The same thing goes for your Ask. You have to craft your Ask and practice, practice, practice!
Instead of looking at your conversation asking people to join your business as a pass or fail scenario, see it as a learning opportunity. If you don’t get a yes, it likely wasn’t your messaging; it was likely their current life situation or the opportunity is just not for them. You can’t take it personally. All you can do is learn from the interaction and apply it in the future.
If you’re not sure where to start, I recommend asking your hosts. They are your #1 prospect. You know that they’re willing to share these products with their friends, and many of them are ready to join a team – so start there and build your confidence!
Consider Their Why
Not everyone gets into direct sales for the same reason. If you go into your Ask assuming that everyone has the same goals and desires as you, you take the risk of sharing the wrong message.
Everyone is different! The best way to get over this is for you to simply ask, “What would you want this company to do for you?” Right off the bat, they’ll answer with their why.
You’ll never know their why and how you can convince them it’s the right opportunity for them unless you ask. It could be making enough money to pay off a car, or just wanting a discount on the product, or to make money so that their children can go to college debt-free. Don’t complicate it by only focusing on what you wanted out of the business!
The other thing to think about is that you don’t want to build a team of people just like you, right? It would get a bit boring if everyone on your team had the same goals, aspirations, and personalities. Variety is the spice of life, and it’s the spice of being a team leader!
Becoming a direct seller means so many different things for so many different people, so be inclusive, embrace those diverse whys, and your team will grow.
Practice Makes Progress
The best way to learn something new is to practice, practice, practice. It’s like muscle memory. You have to go through the process so often before you get your recruiting legs on! It doesn’t happen overnight.
I can assure you that the top leaders in your company started exactly as you are. I know I did! They started out fumbling over words, asking how to be a leader, questioning every move, and convincing themselves they didn’t know what they were doing.
The more you ask, the better you’ll get, the more confidence you’ll grow. Practice makes perfect, and it’ll help you craft an Ask that works!
Using a stop & start method doesn’t help. Instead, set a goal for yourself to do X number of Asks a week or dedicate a push month to growing your team – this is where you will see results.
It’s Time to Grow…
You know how your direct sales business has transformed your life, right? Why don’t you make it easier on yourself to share that with others? You’re not embracing your opportunity to change lives if you don’t ask.
You could be the reason a single mom can maintain her flexible schedule; you could be the reason a family gets to go to Disneyland like they’ve always dreamed – you can change lives, but it all starts with the Ask.
Who are you going to ask first?
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Want a proven plan for growing your direct sales business without feeling like you're chasing your tail? The Direct Sellers Business Blueprint explains the 4 key areas you must master to build a simplified, systematic business. It will even tell you which area to tackle first, so you can stop feeling overwhelmed or confused about what to do next. The best part? It's completely FREE!

Mary Haynes is a highly successful direct sales leader turned strategist and coach. Her passion is helping party plan people streamline and scale their businesses using simple, proven strategies. Her goal is to eliminate business overwhelm so direct sellers know exactly what to do and when to do it. Mary is also a homeschooling mama that lives in sunny Florida with her husband, 4 kiddos, 2 dogs, and various other backyard animals.