If y’all know me even a teeny tiny bit, you know that I wholeheartedly believe that host coaching is the secret sauce to party success. But just as good host coaching can help you soar in your business, bad host coaching can also hinder your business.
Now, I know that we’re not all superhumans who are good at everything the first go around. It takes time to perfect your secret sauce and make it work. When we start out with host coaching, that newness is usually the danger. We don’t know how to host a coach, so we copy and paste from other people. But we don’t stop to think, “Hey, maybe their tactics or strategies aren’t necessarily the best way to be doing things.” Maybe they’re pushy, and perhaps they’re not great at relationship building—whatever it may be. And we don’t see these things until they negatively impact our business.
Now y’all also know I think the word failure shouldn’t be in the dictionary. We learn from it, tweak our messaging, and move on. If you’re not getting the results you want, friend, you have to go back and adjust your host coaching. Think about what you can change to get better results!
To save you some hassle and time reevaluating your host coaching right from the get-go, today we’re going to dig into five things you should rid all your host coaching messages of now. These simply don’t work, and they’ll hurt your business, not help it. So, without further ado…
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NEVER EVER SAY, “YOU DON’T HAVE TO DO ANYTHING!”
Another version of this could be, “All you have to do is this ONE thing.” Y’all, that is a bald-faced lie.
Excuse the sass, but let’s think about this for a second. When you book a party with a host, are you truly not going to ask her to lift one little finger?
Sometimes when we’re feeling a little desperate to book parties, we say things like this. And it’s okay, but we must recognize it so we can grow.
When you say things like this, what you’re doing is damaging trust and rapport with your hostess. When you tell her she doesn’t have to do a dang thing, that may sound good in theory, but is it true? No. Honesty is key to growing host relationships, friends!
Instead, be honest. Just say I’m going to work with you step-by-step to make sure you have the BEST party ever; this is going to be so FUN! See? It still sounds good, and it’s the truth!
You want to ensure you’re setting clear expectations upfront when sending those booking messages. Yes, it is super easy to host a virtual party—we’re selling stuff on Zoom or Facebook, not doing brain surgery, but it does take a little work! Don’t be dishonest.
NEVER EVER SAY, “I’LL DO EVERYTHING!”
This ties right into the last point. What happens when this host needs to invite her friend, and you’ve just told her you’d do everything for her? You can’t go into her Facebook account and invite her. You can’t say that you will do everything. You’re not going to do everything—it’s physically impossible, and you’d never grow.
You need your hosts to be on your team, ready to jump in and take charge of their party, so it’s a success. Ensure they know what they’re signing up for when you ask, so they’re not frustrated and disappointed when you don’t bring the wine, invite all the people, and clean her house for her before the party. It’s not realistic!
NEVER EVER SAY, “YOU ONLY HAVE TO SELL $XYZ TO GET YOUR HOST REWARDS.”
Many hosts will ask you how many sales they need for it to be considered a party to get their goodies—let’s be honest, a lot of them do it for the freebies, and a lot of them do it because they want to support you.
When you say that the minimum order for a party is $200, you’ve just set your host up to set her goals low.
We wouldn’t tell our kids, “You just need a D to pass,” when they haven’t even started something yet. You’re going to say to them, “You got this, go get that A, kiddo!”
Think about what you told her when you look at the party sales and wonder why she only invited five people. You told her she just needed $200 bucks to make it a party, and she knew her mom was good for $100, so she did the bare minimum.
Instead, when someone asks that question, respond with, “Oh don’t you worry about that, my average party is about $XYZ, and we’re going to work together to get you lots of free goodies. How does that sound?”
Wouldn’t you rather have a $1,000 party than a $200 party?
I want to have my hosts dream big, don’t you?
NEVER EVER SAY, “I NEED YOU TO DO XYZ”
“I need you to interact at the party.” “I want you to invite more friends.”
How do those statements come off? To me, it sounds like the way I talk to my kids when they haven’t done something yet. Your hosts aren’t your kids, and you have zero authority over them. They are your partners in this business; treat them that way.
The words “need” and “want” also sound bossy and are likely to make your host feel like you’re talking down to her. Phrase it in a way that encourages her. For example, instead of saying, “I need you to invite more people,” try something like, “You’re off to a great start! Do you need any help brainstorming more friends to invite?”
See the difference? Don’t damage the relationship by coming off bossy and pushy.
The biggest danger that can happen in the world of text and messaging is that it can sometimes be easy to come off harsh without meaning to. So use those emojis, use those funny GIFs, and for the love of all things holy, do not use the terms “I need you to” or “I want you to.”
Come from a place of service. Explain the process, say, “Here’s the next thing we need to do to make sure you have the best party. Are you with me?!”
I know it can be frustrating when hosts are ghosting and not engaging or doing what you need them to do.
But the harsh reality is that every host isn’t going to do the things you want them to do. Everyone is different, has different things going on in their lives, different priorities. That’s why we look at averages. You’re going to have ups and downs, rockstar parties, and not-so-great parties. Hopefully, your average is in the middle!
Don’t let your frustration come off in your messaging. We want to charm the pants off them with sweet words and encouragement.
NEVER EVER SAY, “I NEED YOU TO DO THIS”
This sounds bossy and is likely to make your host feel like you’re talking down to her. Instead, phrase it in a way that encourages her.
For example, instead of saying, “I need you to invite more people,” try something like, “You’re off to a great start! Do you need any help brainstorming more friends to invite?”
See the difference? A more positive, encouraging approach will always get you better results.
THE WAY WE COMMUNICATE IS EVERYTHING IN DIRECT SALES
Friends, I want you to build the BEST relationships with your hosts. Hosts are your #1 champions in this business, and they will refer you, be repeat buyers, and sing your praises to anyone who will listen.
Building those relationships takes effective communication. So think about what you’re saying. If you’re not making the goals you’re aiming for, reevaluate and start with your host coaching. I genuinely believe it’s the secret sauce and key to success, and if you rock it, you’ll rock your business.
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Want a proven plan for growing your direct sales business without feeling like you're chasing your tail? The Direct Sellers Business Blueprint explains the 4 key areas you must master to build a simplified, systematic business. It will even tell you which area to tackle first, so you can stop feeling overwhelmed or confused about what to do next. The best part? It's completely FREE!
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Mary Haynes is a highly successful direct sales leader turned strategist and coach. Her passion is helping party plan people streamline and scale their businesses using simple, proven strategies. Her goal is to eliminate business overwhelm so direct sellers know exactly what to do and when to do it. Mary is also a homeschooling mama that lives in sunny Florida with her husband, 4 kiddos, 2 dogs, and various other backyard animals.
