7 Host Coaching Mistakes That Could Be Killing Your Party

Host Coaching Tips

Host coaching was my jam when I was in the direct sales business. It’s what helped my team, and me reach unparalleled sales levels in our company at the time. Now, as a direct sales coach, it’s something I preach every single day to my clients and members of our Savvy Selling Virtual community. 

If you’re new to the direct sales world, I will always say that the best thing you can do after booking your first couple of parties is to educate yourself on host coaching. Host coaching, put simply, is taking the ultimate care of your hosts, so they have the best party and the best possible experience with you and your business. 

Host coaching needs to be learned, practiced, tweaked, and perfected like any skill. It’s also a skill that will evolve and grow as your business starts to explode (which it will if you’re host coaching effectively, I promise).

As I worked through my host coaching strategy, I came up with many tips and tricks. But mostly, I came up with the top host coaching mistakes you do not want to make. I’m going to save you some trial and error and let you in on the mistakes I’ve experienced so you can level up your host coaching business from the starting gates.

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Want a proven plan for growing your direct sales business without feeling like you're chasing your tail? The Direct Sellers Business Blueprint explains the 4 key areas you must master to build a simplified, systematic business. It will even tell you which area to tackle first, so you can stop feeling overwhelmed or confused about what to do next. The best part? It's completely FREE!


When you think of a coach, what do you think of? You think of someone yelling from the sidelines, someone sketching plays to win the game, someone calling the shots, and giving you the direction that will lead to success… right? 

It’s simple to think you’re doing enough if you send a text of encouragement to your host or call her after a party congratulating her on killing it. But did you help her reach that success along the way? That’s what you want to make sure you’re doing. Coaching her every step of the way, so her party is like the championship game, and there is no way she can lose.



What do you think of when you think of a cheerleader? Someone who is joyful and motivating but doesn’t necessarily have any idea what is going on in the game, right?

Now, this is important, friend. There is a huge difference between a coach and a cheerleader! 

While we always want to be cheering our hosts on from the sidelines, we want to provide them with feedback and the game plan that will help them reach their goals. We want to be a coach, not a cheerleader. 



When it comes to telling your kids why they need to do their chores or homework for the millionth time, it’s okay to talk at them. But when you’re trying to introduce your hosts to the world of parties and prepare them to get all the goodies, you need to talk to them.

Talk TO your hosts, not AT them.

What do I mean by that? 

You’re word vomiting everything that rolls through your brain when it comes to the party, throwing words at them with no reciprocal conversation. You’re giving them so much information they end up drowning in it. 

Don’t do this, y’all, just don’t. 

You need to take a step back, give a little bit of info, ask if they have questions, and ask them questions to spark conversations.


It’s All About Relationships

The direct sales world is 110% relationship-focused. If you’re not focused on building relationships or don’t like building relationships, you may be in the wrong business. I’m not saying that to be mean. I am saying it to keep it real. If you want to spit out a million and one tasks and tips but not ask your hosts how their day is going or what their kids are up to after school, you’re not building a relationship. You’re just using your host to make some sales, and that’s not cool, nor is it going to help you build your business.

Now, all that said, where are my introverted friends out there? 

I am an introvert through and through, so I understand that little voice in the back of your head telling you, well, I’m not sure if I can build relationships in my business. I’m too shy, too scared, too this, too that… 

Let’s quiet that voice. You can still be an introvert and be relationship-focused. It’s as simple as having polite conversations and building people up; I sometimes think we introverts understand that mentality best because we crave it too, yes?

So, when you’re having chats with your hosts:

  1. Break down the info you’re giving them into bite-sized chunks.
  2. Make sure your messages aren’t the length of a New York Times bestselling novel.
  3. Ask all the questions to help you get to know them and make sure they’re comfortable with all the party talk.

At the end of the day, it’s about simplifying your message and building relationships… which leads to my next point. 



The number one key to host coaching is to keep it simple.  Do NOT overcomplicate it! There’s a fine line between providing valuable information and overwhelming your host. 

I’m going to share a little example with you. 

Years into my direct sales business, I hosted a party, as I often did, for another direct seller affiliated with a different company. Y’all – her packet was 28 – yes, you read that correctly – twenty-eight pages long. The real kicker, though? There were no stinkin’ instructions, no letter, no welcome call – nothing. So, I had to fend for myself to figure out how to plan and execute this party with a super complicated guide but zero guidance. 

You also do not want to send them messages as long as a book with instructions for the party. Break down your tips and instructions into small milestones throughout the planning process. As Mamas, wives, and business owners, we know all too well just how busy life can get! We don’t have time for all the fluff or too many projects at once. 

One foolproof way to keep it simple is to create a checklist for your hosts that lays out all the to-dos on a timeline so they know what to do at what step of the party process. Narrow down your to-dos to quick 10 to 15-minute tasks that can be completed quickly after the kids head to bed. Don’t forget to make it fun! It’s not all serious business in direct sales, we have to remember to smile and not take ourselves too seriously, and you want to pass that on to your hosts.

Bite-size, simple tasks throughout the planning process are key to success. If your hosts aren’t overwhelmed, they will have fun, they will host more parties, and as a bonus, they will usually refer her friends, too!



Now, on the other hand, you can also provide too little info. 

In the packet scenario we addressed above, it was a unique situation where she provided way too much and way too little, all at the same time. Crazy, right? But it can happen! You want to make sure your instructions are always complete and leave no questions.

If your host is hosting a virtual party, send her a message on Day One that says “welcome your friends today,” with a bit of a script to follow. The next day, tell her what to post and provide her with the curated image for that day. 

You only need to give your hosts the information they need. 

If they don’t have all the tools to be successful, they won’t want to work with you again. The key to long-term business growth and success is happy hosts!



This is one you may need to let sink in for a moment. Host coaching is NOT about you. 

While it may seem that way, host coaching is all for the benefit of your host. It is about maximizing their rewards and making sure they have a fantastic party. We got into this business to support our families, yes. But didn’t we also get into it to have a wonderful time and spread joy through our circle of friends? Making others successful will help you succeed long term, but the focus should always be on your host and their experience.

Your number one question you need to ask yourself throughout the party planning process is, “Will this serve my host?”. If not, reconsider what you’re doing and revise your strategy accordingly. 

Many people feel uncomfortable telling their hosts that they should have a specific number of people at their party or feel awkward telling them to reach out directly to their invitees – but it’s not about comfort. It’s about value. You need to work alongside your hosts and provide them with all the goodies, stats, and tools to reach their goals, whether you feel comfortable or not. You’ll gain confidence with time, and the comfort will come later.

Our hosts are the literal lifeline of our businesses. Do you love on them, thank them, show appreciation to them? Make sure these simple acts of kindness are incorporated into all that party and business talk. The direct sales business is based upon our host relationships, so they need to be in the forefront and feel valued, feel guided towards success, and ultimately feel just as appreciative of you as you are of them.



I have to be honest here. We are just selling products on Facebook–it is not a complicated business model; we’re not doing brain surgery. I used to tell my team this when I was in direct sales, and some didn’t like it, but it’s a simple truth. So, let’s not overcomplicate it! I’m not undervaluing what we do; I’m just keeping it real with y’all so we can put things into perspective. 

Essentially, a host’s job is to invite people, get people there, and talk to people. It’s that simple. Coach your hosts to do that well by keeping it simple, giving them the basics they need to rock their party, and you’ll have happy, successful hosts with lots of free goodies who will keep coming back. 

Will there be times when you need to tweak your host coaching a bit to meet the needs of a particular host?  Sure!   But follow your basic host coaching strategy, and you’ll have continued success.

I just did a Facebook Party with a consultant, and do you know how much time I spent doing the whole host thing before attending the party? About a half-hour. Thirty minutes. That’s it! Make it that simple for your host. Give them what they need, but no more than that.



Once you create your host coaching strategy, it becomes the foundation of your business, and you can use it for every single party you host. It streamlines things and ultimately helps you present yourself like the professional direct seller you are, leading to long-term results.

Consider investing in our Four Week Fix if you’ve been in the biz for a while and still need help or want to take your host coaching game to the next level. We can tweak your plan together for ultimate results!



To sum it up, let’s be good consultants. Let’s be host coachers, not host cheerleaders. I like to say that host coaching is where you make your money, and the party is where you pick it up. If you focus on serving your hosts well, all the pieces will fall into place. When you invest in host coaching effectively, you’re investing in your business success – even though it may not immediately seem that way.

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Direct Sellers Business Blueprint Mockup

Want a proven plan for growing your direct sales business without feeling like you're chasing your tail? The Direct Sellers Business Blueprint explains the 4 key areas you must master to build a simplified, systematic business. It will even tell you which area to tackle first, so you can stop feeling overwhelmed or confused about what to do next. The best part? It's completely FREE!


Mary Haynes Headshot

Hey, I'm Mary!

I've been right where you are - in the middle of the hustle. I remember the grind of trying to figure out every new tip or trick to build my own direct sales business.  I want to show you a better, simpler way. My passion is helping you simplify and streamline your party plan direct sales business using proven systems that reduce overwhelm and help you reach your business goals even faster! Find out more about me and my team here.

Direct Sellers Business Blueprint Mockup

Are you ready to grow your party plan business but feel overwhelmed and confused by all the ideas coming at you? Tired of wondering what to do next? That's why I created the Direct Sellers Business Blueprint. It walks you through the four critical areas you need to master in order to thrive in direct sales. It even gives you the exact order to work on them, explains why each area is important, and gives you quick tips on how to improve each one. And the best part is that it's free!

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