Friend, I know what you’re thinking. You want to book parties, but every time you ask, you feel like you’re going to come off as being spammy. Some of this is your mindset, and some of this is the tactics you’ve seen other direct sellers use. And yes, some of them DO sound like a desperate used car salesman. But the good news is that you can easily fix it!
Let’s dig into the seven ways you can flip the switch, change your mindset on your hosting opportunity, and not scare off all your friends in the process.
Want a proven plan for growing your direct sales business without feeling like you're chasing your tail? The Direct Sellers Business Blueprint explains the 4 key areas you must master to build a simplified, systematic business. It will even tell you which area to tackle first, so you can stop feeling overwhelmed or confused about what to do next. The best part? It's completely FREE!
How to Book Parties Without Feeling Spammy or Gross
#1 – Avoid Cold Messaging
Let’s deal with the elephant in the room right away. Avoid cold messaging. I know that someone might be your Facebook friend, but that does not mean that they’re interested in your business or your products. When you message someone that you haven’t seen or talked to in the last 12 years and ask them to book a party, it comes across as gross, like a used car salesman approaching randos on the street.
The worst part is when this does happen, you are killing any potential relationship that you might have with this person. You’ve given them nothing. All you’re doing is asking for something in return. You’ve provided zero value to them.
Random people on Facebook, or your cold market as we like to call it, don’t care about your goals or what your sales quota is. They also don’t really care about what that means to you and your family. It’s your warm market, your ACTUAL friends and family, that loves you and cares about you, not random people. These people don’t know you. You should, instead, do a good job of prospecting and warming people up by commenting on their posts and engaging with them. If you sell food stuff, are they posting about food? If you sell skincare, are they talking about skincare? If you sell crafty stuff, are they talking about crafty stuff? Strike up a conversation and get to know them first.
Hear me out for a sec. Messaging strangers on the internet might be what you were told to do by your upline or company and they assured you that it works. Does it work? Yes. It works because of quantity, but at what cost? You could send a couple of hundred messages and maybe get one or two parties from an extremely cold market, but you’ve also just alienated the other 198 people who are no longer interested in anything you have to say and have now put a black mark on other direct sellers.
I know that’s kind of harsh, but I want you to think about it. Direct selling at its core is a relationship-building business, so when you have zero relationship with someone and dive straight in to asking them for something, it’s just not cool. Build a relationship with them first. Then you can figure out how you and your business can best serve them BEFORE going in with a booking ask.
Does it take longer? Of course. Of course, but you’re going to build a better, stronger customer base and in turn, a better, stronger business.
#2 – Give Value First
Number two is to give value first. How often are you posting on social media? I offer coaching and training, including valuable videos every Wednesday for free for 20 – 30 minutes. Does everybody buy my stuff? Nope. But, they do trust me more and know me better. I’ve provided value first because I do care about them and their business.
Are you providing value first before asking for something in exchange? Are you getting to know people and helping them with whatever pain point they’re struggling with before asking something of them? Or are you just posting everywhere asking people to buy your stuff, host a party, or join your team?
Bottom line – There’s no value exchange when you ask for something without providing value. Value builds trust and deepens that relationship. Before you go in with an ask, provide them with something. If you’ve been in the ask all the people mode, it might take some time to shift your mindset on this one. Practice asking yourself what you have given your potential customer, host, or team member in exchange for what you are asking them to buy.
#3 – Make it All About Them
Number three is to make it all about them. People don’t care if you need a sale for a promotion. People don’t care if you need bookings. What’s in it for them? Maybe you are going to give them lots of tips and tricks at their party. Or you know they’ve been looking at this one product and it’s coming up at a discounted price. Those are some examples of what’s in it for them.
And take note that knowing someone is interested in a specific product implies a relationship beforehand. No salesy or spammy stuff happening there! I’m actually THINKING about the person and their needs, and it just so happens that they can get that thing that they wanted at a discount. That’s a valuable proposition! There’s also a bonus here. If I get a “no” from someone that I’ve truly offered value to, I’m not offended. I don’t feel rejected personally. They just didn’t want the offer that I had, and that’s okay. Moving on!
#4 – Focus on the Conversation, Not the Script
Number four is to focus on the conversation, not the script. I know when you first started in direct sales, you needed the script to get a conversation started, especially if you had never done anything like this before. But the problem is, when you focus so much on the script, you forget about the relationship.
You forget that these are real people and real conversations. Sure, you can use a script to get started, but as you continue the conversation, it’s just chatting and getting to know each other. Think about this as a conversation where you’re building a relationship and don’t immediately think about how to flip it to a booking.
Focus on the conversation, by listening to them. I can guarantee you if you’re having a good conversation with them and you’re not just trying to focus on a booking script, then the relationship starts to deepen, and they’re going to remember that and will be more likely to buy, host, or join.
#5 – Always Tell the Truth
Number five is to always tell the truth. I hate that I even have to say this one, but I need to say it. Sometimes when you’re desperate for the booking, or to fill your calendar, you may be tempted to say things that aren’t true, like exaggerating host benefits or that the host doesn’t have to do anything.
Those are lies. If my host doesn’t do anything, the party will be bad. If she gets far less in host benefits than I promised, I have broken her trust. These exaggerated statements come across as desperate. Don’t use verbiage, like “You only have to do this,” “You only have to do that,” or, “You don’t need to do anything.” You and both know it’s not true, so let’s not even say it, K?
#6 – Avoid Desperation Language
Number six is to avoid desperation language. If you’re using words like, “I need,” “I want,” and “Help,” please stop. Those are not words that you need to include in a booking ask, because it has nothing to do with the other person. That’s all about you, and what the booking is going to do for you and your business.
We’ve all seen the messages that are dripping with guilt trip language, like “I want to grow my business and I need this party.” Begging and pleading aren’t going to work. It’s a complete turn-off. Just don’t do it.
#7 – Stop the Fake Friendships
The seventh tip is to stop fake friendships. I hate that I have to say this one too, but I’ve seen it happen. I’m cool if you want to send people friend requests. But don’t friend request 10 people a day based on Facebook’s friend suggestions and then comment on their last ten photos so you can send them a private message to ask for something. I know there are coaches out there that say to do this. I’m not saying that you shouldn’t friend request the people in your parties or other people if you have a connection with them. That’s different from seeking out random people on Facebook and spamming their personal profile with questions. Friend, they can see it coming a mile away and already have their defenses up.
Now that we tackled the seven ways to avoid being a big spam monster, I want to walk you through two of the most common pitfalls I see with direct sellers not being able to keep a full calendar.
WHY you aren’t Keeping a Full Calendar
#1 – Wrong Mindset
Sometimes you have the wrong mindset about party bookings. Many direct sellers feel like the hostess is helping you out or doing you a favor if she books a party. Let’s think about this for a second. When I was working my own direct sales business, I found that my hosts normally saved more than I made in commission on my parties. Think about that for a second. Who were those parties really about? They were about my hosts. When you start getting messages from your hosts like “Oh my gosh, I wouldn’t have been able to afford these things had I not done the party. Thank you so much,” that’s what you want.
Flip your perspective. Offering the hosting opportunity is about serving people and filling a need. It’s not all about you.
#2 – Lack of Consistency
The second pitfall to keeping a full calendar is a lack of consistency. You can’t expect to keep your party calendar full by just waiting for people to jump up and down and wave their arms screaming “HEY! PICK ME! I WANT TO BOOK A PARTY!”
You must actively offer the hosting opportunity at your parties EVERY.SINGLE.WEEK. No putting it off. No scrolling Facebook pretending to work. You can’t do it one time and then expect your calendar to magically stay full. That leads to a constant up and down cycle of binge-booking and nobody likes that.
Friend, if you’ve been feeling spammy or salesy in your booking asks, take some time to evaluate your ask related to the tips I just shared. Also take some time to evaluate how you’re thinking about the party. Trust me. It can be fixed if you’ll actively work on improving.
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Want a proven plan for growing your direct sales business without feeling like you're chasing your tail? The Direct Sellers Business Blueprint explains the 4 key areas you must master to build a simplified, systematic business. It will even tell you which area to tackle first, so you can stop feeling overwhelmed or confused about what to do next. The best part? It's completely FREE!
Mary Haynes is a highly successful direct sales leader turned strategist and coach. Her passion is helping party plan people streamline and scale their businesses using simple, proven strategies. Her goal is to eliminate business overwhelm so direct sellers know exactly what to do and when to do it. Mary is also a homeschooling mama that lives in sunny Florida with her husband, 4 kiddos, 2 dogs, and various other backyard animals.
